My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
