I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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