Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
