Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
