did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
