trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize