could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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