You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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