Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
