I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
