Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
