I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
