I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
