The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize
