8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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