but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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