And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
