so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
