I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize