i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You're like the curious george of whores
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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