i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
