Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
