I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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