he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
