dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
