we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize