Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
