She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize