He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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