wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize