i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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