no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have aggressive nipples.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
