dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
