the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
