So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
