I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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