dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
