just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
