i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
