Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
