New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
