I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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