did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
