I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
