found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
