thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
