We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
