i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
