windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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