Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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