This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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