thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
