I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
