that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize