someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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