I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
