u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
whose ass print is on the piano?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
