Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
