Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Randomize