Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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