In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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