how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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