My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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