I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
