wakey wakey hands off snakey
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
