If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
