Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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