i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
How's work?
Spinning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
