So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
