no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize