At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
