Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
