She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
