I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
