Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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