he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
