If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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