Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
