This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
