O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
