This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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