Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
