He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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