I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
